Washrag Brigade–a Tantalizing, Unsolved Who Dun ‘it?
775 N. Ashtree Way hosts a beautiful Jacuzzi tub in the master bath surrounded by a stained glass and blocked glass windows and crowned with a chandelier. In this room designed for tranquility, each day a dastardly crime is committed. The guilty party has yet to be identified. In the morning, the wash cloths are neatly folded on the rim of the tub. By afternoon, the washrags are thrown all around the bathroom.
Capt. Violet is capable of this misdeed. Two clues, however, suggest another culprit. First, the washrags are disturbed but not destroyed. Second, Sergeant Angel has been captured on video running from the crime scene with the cleaning crew socks and pummeling them with her paws.
A crime of this nature is beneath Colonel Satch who loathes water. Private Shani has an alibi, spending her days in the yard. Who do you think is the culprit?
Panty Raid Anyone?
Teenage Queen Bee is the victim of this crime of passion. When doors to bedrooms, bathrooms, or the laundry room are unwittingly left open, panties and volleyball Spanx are found torn up in the living room.
Invariably, only the most expensive Victoria Secret panties appeal to the criminal. For a long period of time, this crime was blamed on Capt. Violet. However, Private Shani has been caught red-handed gleefully running through the house with a bright red thong clenched in her jaws.
The Sorry Tale of the Screamin’ Me-me!
Do not let Col Satch’s disinterested appearance deceive you. He is the crime lord of the domain. He frequently chases a silly dachshund visitor, Oscar Reilly through Ashtree Way with a yowling snarl. The wiener dog’s heart wrenching squeal echoes through the cathedral hallway and the dog’s long, sharp claws make clicking sounds on the hard wood floors scampering to the safety of his owner’s lap.
On these occasions, the Colonel pulls up sharply at the couch switches his tail and marches off victorious.