Over Labor Day, my Sheltie, Shani carried out a successful panty raid on my daughter’s slumber party (greatly angering my daughter). Shani’s most recent offense was much closer to home. I have been working on paper mache hands for Ms. Bewitchingly Boo-tiful described in last week’s blog. I placed the hands outside on the three-feet-high fire pit to dry in the sun. The height of the pit provides a convincing alibi for Violet, the rat terrior, nicknamed the Terrorist for her ability to shred anything in a matter of minutes.
When I came home to check on the drying progress, the hands were missing. I was mystified. At first, I thought the wind had blown the hands off the granite ledge. Afterall, what could be appealing to a dog about something made of flour, water, and paper, surely this combination does not emit a wafting odor tantalizing a dog’s olfactory lobes. But alas, the wind was not the culprit. I wasn’t going to be given the gift of finding intact phalanges. My search through the yard uncovered a few small remnants
I was very surprised that both hands were gone. I mean one good chew and yuck! But this is where the accomplice comes in. My rat terrier, Violet, gets great joy in tearing up anything. Shani has been very discriminating in her destructive tendencies, limiting her tastes to extremely expensive Victoria Secret panties. Violet will grab whatever is handy and shake it violently while growling and then shred the with her teeth. I vision the hand dismemberment as a two dog crime. The dog with superior height and extremely long snout identified and retrieved the hands. The terrior gleefully shredded them as the sheltie ran in circles joyfully barking and egging Violet on.
The crime set back the paper mache project three days:
- One to recreate both hands. I start with pipe cleaners and cardboard.
- Two days for drying.
- Two more days for painting and decorating.
- Three days for Marine varnish to paint and dry
- Final three days for varnish to cure.
All this has led me to develop the Pinocchio Theorem:
If you have a long nose, be careful it doesn’t lead you astray.